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Hello Cat
Your partner probably does love you, but he is having some serious issues with the drink. This doesn't mean he loves you less, it just means that the alcohol is winning at the moment.
The fact that he goes away to drink means he has some kind of care for you because he doesn't want you to see him drunk and to suffer what comes with him being drunk.
You are a positive part of his life that he doesn't want to mess up, this is why he leaves and comes back when he isn't drinking. Naturally from your side of things, it still isn't a relationship, but for him he probably thinks he is doing a good thing. The best thing for him to do would be to get off the booze, but he needs help and it takes time.
You ahave to decide if you want to be in this relationship because you are going to have to help him get through this. If you don't want this kind of responsibilty, then you are going to have to cut your losses now. You can't hope and wait for him to stay or leave. He isn't in control of his sober mind, the drunk mind rules him. If you want to stay with him you have to help him.
Some tough decisions for you to make, but they have to be made.
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